Six things kids would like their parents to know about good communication
1. Think about how you say things
How you phrase what you say matters. Put yourself in your kid's shoes and imagine
how much better it sounds if you begin a sentence with, "Why don't you try?" instead
of, "You should". Or say, "You seem a bit worried", rather than, "What's wrong with
you?"

2. Bite your tongue!
We do it all the time - finishing kid's sentences for them or interrupting with our own
comments and advice before we've heard them out. This sends a message that you're
more interested in saying your piece than listening to them. Teenagers in particular
often complain that adults "just don't listen".

3. Show that you're listening
Give kids your full attention, look them in the eye and show by your tone of voice that
you're interested. Saying things such as, "So what you're saying is", or, "Do you
mean that?" shows you're listening and ensures you really understand them.

4. Avoid being over-critical
It's very easy to criticise, especially when kids reach adolescence and there seem to
be so many things to disapprove of. But what seems to be a hallmark of strong
families is that they're sparing in their criticism and generous with comments which
show appreciation. John DeFrain says that while people in unhappy families often
focus on negative remarks, in happy families the positive remarks outnumber the
negative.

5. Develop the knack of asking open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are carefully worded to tease out more than a monosyllabic
answer or, in the case of adolescent boys, a grunt. Try: "So, how did that make you feel?", "What did you do then?", "What makes you think/say/fee/do that?", "What
would you have done?".

6. Redirect the focus of your comments.
Start sentences with "I", such as, "I feel angry when you …" or "I'm concerned
because …" is good because it makes it clear you're being honest about your feelings
and helps you avoid making statements beginning "you", which often sound
accusatory.

reference: the age